How women can deal with prejudice from other women at work (yes, it happens)
Women'southward empowerment and sisterhood are some of the hottest catchphrases in the equality motion in recent years. Simply while many have enthusiastically risen to the challenge to champion each other at the workplace, at that place are even so "Queen Bees" or bullies around who – consciously or otherwise – stand in the mode of their peers.
In fact, most women have probably experienced some form of female person discrimination before. For instance, some people may make snide remarks near their female bosses or are mean and uncooperative to other women in the workplace.
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"I have seen 1 case where a woman called another female person leader 'incompetent and bad at her chore' for no clear reason and told her team not to follow her instructions," said Yolanda Lee, founder and CEO of Uncommon, a private network that connects and supports women in leadership positions.
At times, information technology tin can show up as a double standard. For example, a male boss who gives feedback might be perceived as existence proactive while a female might be regarded as mean and unpleasant.
Or, female misogyny can sometimes manifest in the course of unwarranted personal comments. "Ane of my friends told me how her female manager commented on her weight and asked if she was pregnant – to get her to clarify that she wasn't pregnant," said Saara Sihvonen, a coach and Positive Psychology Practitioner (CAPP).
Sihvonen, a former fashion model, has personally experienced such comments, as well. "I've been told, 'You're and then skinny, do yous even eat anything,' both within and outside the work surroundings. I've pretty much never heard these comments from men," she said.
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Such catty remarks tin exist due to feelings of inadequacy compared to other women. "When one feels insecure, the protective fashion to feel better about oneself and to heave ane's conviction can be to approximate other females 'who have it better'. For some women this judgement might be expressed through gossip or talking behind one'south back," said Sihvonen.
Some of this unconscious bias that women demonstrate confronting other women also have deep roots in the internalised norms of behaviour in a patriarchal club. "Women, like men, are not immune to the biases and messaging that nosotros all receive from such a young age. Misogyny has such deep roots across all societies and permeates a range of religions, philosophies and popular culture," observed Lee.
"Even the most supportive woman can unconsciously act in means that undermine other women. Internalised misogyny tin testify upward as a sense of scarcity for 'seats at the table' for successful women in the workplace resulting in competitiveness, excessive criticism and personal attacks."
Sabrina Ho, founder and CEO of Half The Sky, a career and headhunting platform connecting female person professionals with equal opportunity employers, recalled a chat about the gender pay gap.
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"I was talking most how organisations can tackle this pervasive issue when the simply female executive on this panel stated the gender pay gap doesn't exist as she was paid very well and the upshot was of the failure of women equally they may not want to work hard enough or may not be capable plenty to cutting information technology," she said.
"I thought to myself, 'Talk virtually throwing all women under the omnibus'. For me personally, the well-nigh challenging aspect of female person misogyny when female leaders perpetuate a organization that only accommodates one adult female to take a seat at the acme table."
To alter this person'southward unfounded bias, Ho took the time to explain politely that the prove of the gender pay gap extended beyond her and the statistics compiled past governments and institutions clearly testify it exists.
In time, hopefully actions like Ho'southward will assistance to change the culture of women "sabotaging" each other as nosotros climb the corporate ladder.
And to add to this snowball result, here are five ways you can assistance to tear downward these entrenched walls so that y'all too can truly empower the women effectually you.
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one. Be Enlightened OF YOUR OWN BIAS
Enquire yourself if you personally hold sure preconceived notions then that yous can play your function in breaking this bike. Make it a bespeak to not gossip or perpetuate this tendency within the workplace.
Avoid "labelling" people such as "career woman", "housewife" or "married woman" as a shortcut to getting to know them as this can perpetuate preconceived notions you might have of a certain person. Instead, make the effort to go to know each private for herself.
Sihvonen said: "Taking fourth dimension to go to know each other is quite essential and normally the best pathway to creating more connection to each other and connection helps impale these stereotypes, labels and prejudice – and I guess the cattiness too!"
2. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
As they say, like attracts like, so surround yourself with like-minded allies who can encourage you, celebrate your wins and assist yous bounce back from your losses – and do the aforementioned for them in return.
"I believe that seeking to elevator each other up is the only way to change the cycle. You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see edifice each other up instead of tearing each other down," said Ho.
If you are unfortunately in a hostile work environment, await beyond your work desk and even the country you live in, she urged. For case Ho's platform Half The Sky offers courses and soon, mentorships to back up professional women. Lee's organisation Uncommon is another option that offers coaching, programming and get-togethers so like-minded women tin can draw inspiration from each other.
3. Modify YOUR REACTION TO A SLIGHT
Admittedly, this can be hard to put into practise just remember this, the one thing that is well within your control is how you react to things that happen to you. "Call up, this is a reflection of the other person and not you – in most cases I don't think women even recognise their own misogyny," said Ho.
So, be proactive in helping yourself cope with the situation by finding a way to view the situation through a unlike lens. For instance, y'all might want to tell yourself that the other person is having a bad twenty-four hours and taking out her frustrations on you, suggested Sihvonen.
She added: "It is important to note that changing your response is not an act of ignoring the problem. It'due south a way for you to assistance yourself out when someone is behaving in a rude way. Changing your mental response is a gift to yourself because it volition aid you cope with such events much better in the futurity."
4. DON'T Exist AFRAID TO SPEAK Upward
What you can do to alleviate this issue is to gently and politely warning the other person to the bear upon of her actions. "Letting someone know how their actions made you feel can help them to build a basic level of awareness," said Lee. "I recommend doing this privately versus in a public setting where they will be more likely to respond defensively."
Lee suggests that it is best to use specific examples to illustrate your points, instead of blanket statements similar "yous always" or "you never" which are more likely to be perceived as an attack.
v. FIND THE OPPORTUNITY EVEN IN AN UNPLEASANT SITUATION
Focus on finding the silvery lining instead. So, when you engage this person, tell her you are committed to succeeding together and work to create win-win outcomes together, said Lee. "Model the behaviour you want to come across in the other person – requite them credit where it is due or interject when someone interrupts them in a coming together," she suggested.
This activeness can also positively impact your own mental wellbeing. "Fifty-fifty in the toughest times when we assistance ourselves to focus our attention to see the silver-lining, nosotros help ourselves become more than resilient," said Sihvonen.
Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/women/how-women-can-deal-with-misogyny-prejudice-from-other-women-248846
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